See: Star Trek (directs us) Into Darkness

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Generally I’m a huge Star Trek fan. How could I not be with a parent whose childhood revolved around phasers and bald-but-studly captains?  I love the thought of deep space action and angry Klingons who’d rather see you dead then help the world into a better place.  Because of all this, I was excited to see Star Trek Into Darkness this weekend.  In the end though, I noticed this movie lacks one thing that could have made it brilliant.  It was the one thing I thought this series could bring over other action movies… Dialogue.

Action movies are great because they show us wild adventures we could never go on.  Cars exploding, monsters attacking, chase scenes; These are all events we become enamored on because they bring us into a world that we can believe is going on around us, even though we spend most of our time sitting in a cubicle watching YouTube. That’s the sign of a good action flick:  Making you forget you’re in a movie theater and bringing you into the action itself.  This movie has plenty of that, and I continued to get excited when old enemies such as Kahn showed up ready to take over.  Khan is a badass.  In fact the first half of this movie had me really excited.

This then, is where I became disappointed.  Have you ever been in a relationship where things seemed really great at first, and then 6 months in your partner starts to act different?  They start becoming more dirty and not picking up after themselves.  They don’t make the bed anymore and leave your kitchen full of crap they used the night before?  How about the attitude changes…. when the person you thought was so wonderful starts to not really care what you think about them anymore.  Yea, Star Trek Into Darkness became my annoying ex-girlfriend.  Why?  Read on.

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J.J. Abrams directed this film.  He’s the same guy who did Lost, Cloverfield, and earlier Star Treks.  I have to give J.J. props overall, because he does a fantastic job of getting the viewer entranced in his vision.  He catches our interest and draws us into the story line in a way many other directors fall short.   He intrinsically makes us get to know and feel for the characters.  He also does a great job keeping us on the edge of our seats when Spok and Dr. Kirk find themselves in the middle of an all-out galactic war. This movie then has a fantastic beginning and really gets the viewer into the film.

This (about 75% in) is where the movie became my ex-girlfriend.  Situations that used put us into suspense are now making us second guess the feasibility (“We can’t beam anyone up, but we can beam someone down!”).  Bad reaction the first time?  Let’s use it again a few minutes later!  That’s how I started getting annoyed with my ex.  Classic Star Trek lines felt overly forced (read: “Damnit man, I’m a doctor not a rocket scientist!”).  And somewhere after the 4th fist fight in a row I forgot what the heck everyone was fighting about.  Is this the final fight scene?  Yes! Wait, no. Another!  Now the end! No, wait… another… and another… sigh.

With main characters randomly dying and resurrecting (Yes, that just happened) and  about 8 different scenes reminding us of how enemies have “super blood” that can regenerate life, you start to feel if this whole ending was actually thought through.  Leonard Nimoy even made an appearance and while Trekkies would usually get excited about this, it seems like the movie would’ve done just fine if we deleted his entire scene.  Lame.

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By the end, instead of being on the edge of our seats, we were bored.  We didn’t remember why things were happening, and by the next day we struggled to even remember what happened in the end. Our attention had been lost. This was such a shame too because we were really into the first half of this flick.   While Star Trek Into Darkness serves up some fantastic action scenes and great shots of the USS Enterprise hurtling through space, the confusing wrap-up and absolutely horrendous dialogue at the end ruined the film.  It’s just like my ex-girlfriend – I’ll remember the good times but glad I’m done with it as a whole.

-Tizz

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