Dating sucks and I’m not doing it

Health - Ryan McGuire

I’ve been out of the game for a couple years, so when the idea of meeting others seemed OK again it was full of curiosity, if not a little excitement.    I quickly discovered, however, that I was doing things wrong.

My first couple interactions with girls were a big hit to the ego.  Someone I think is worthwhile just ends up not returning my call.   My friend tells me I went for a 2nd date too quickly.   Ok, I guess.

Subsequent attempts didn’t get better.  Meeting people is easy.  The problems seem to be after THEY ask ME to go out again.  Despite my best attempts to be straight forward each of these girls have canceled our dates the day of.  Wtf?

Then I get drunk and find myself having purchased an online dating subscription.  Damn it, drunk me.

That didn’t go much better.  In my limited time I searched through dozens of profiles, sent many unreturned messages, and checked all the ‘likes’ I received.  Only once do I come close to setting up a date and then, already having dealt with a reschedule, a cancellation the day before with no excuse.  Jesus.

So after ranting to friends, I questioned why I was even putting myself through this angst and constant rejection.

In my 20’s I questioned what was wrong with me when I didn’t have a girlfriend.  Why didn’t anyone want me?  Would I ever find my life partner?

In my 30’s I don’t really seem to care.  It’s not that I wouldn’t be interested if something came along, but there is so much time and energy wasted that I could be spending elsewhere.

And so I am.

Our dating game is broken.  After studying all the things to do and say, when and how, with how much fervor or by acting like I don’t give a rat’s ass about them I’ve noticed that yea, some of those things work but… it’s dumb and despite some professional’s statements that yes, it is, but it’s a requirement to succeed… well that just sounds like a challenge and I’m up for those.

I’m taking a 3 month spell of no dates, at all.  When I’m asked I’ll now respond with “Sorry, I don’t do dates until I know you for 90 days.”

This frees me up to, well, date myself.  I’m fucking awesome, so it’s actually exciting.  I’ll be going out with myself, getting drinks, and essentially just spending some quality time alone, with me, the BEST date.

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Number One Fan

Gold Dust01““Dreaming” people say is a waste of time,
Apparently they will never come true.
I have proof dreams can be reality.
Because when in reality, my dream was finding you.
.
Wishing is said to be a lost hope,
Something hoped for but one never sees
I don’t understand how this can be told
When I wished a perfect girl suddenly you came to be.

Some people search their entire life,
Trying to catch a glimpse of an angel.
Its apparent they’ve never met you,
Someone intelligent, sweet and beautiful.

Desires are something everyone possesses,
They are things in life that completes us by far.
I have but only one true desire,
To tell you just how amazing and special you are.

We all have so many thoughts in our head,
Some of our thoughts will never part.
There is only one thing I can’t stop thinking about,
That’s of you, and your beautiful heart.

I hope you know how amazing you are,
And how special you make people feel.
You are truly one in a million,
Everything I’ve said about you is so real.

You don’t deserve anything less than the best,
So be all that you can.
I will always be there for you,
For you see, I am your number one fan.”

-Brandon Hall
*Brandon Hall is a guest writer from Portland, OR and we’d love to hear your take on his work.  Should we press for more of his work?  Like and Comment below.