I’ve been out of the game for a couple years, so when the idea of meeting others seemed OK again it was full of curiosity, if not a little excitement. I quickly discovered, however, that I was doing things wrong.
My first couple interactions with girls were a big hit to the ego. Someone I think is worthwhile just ends up not returning my call. My friend tells me I went for a 2nd date too quickly. Ok, I guess.
Subsequent attempts didn’t get better. Meeting people is easy. The problems seem to be after THEY ask ME to go out again. Despite my best attempts to be straight forward each of these girls have canceled our dates the day of. Wtf?
Then I get drunk and find myself having purchased an online dating subscription. Damn it, drunk me.
That didn’t go much better. In my limited time I searched through dozens of profiles, sent many unreturned messages, and checked all the ‘likes’ I received. Only once do I come close to setting up a date and then, already having dealt with a reschedule, a cancellation the day before with no excuse. Jesus.
So after ranting to friends, I questioned why I was even putting myself through this angst and constant rejection.
In my 20’s I questioned what was wrong with me when I didn’t have a girlfriend. Why didn’t anyone want me? Would I ever find my life partner?
In my 30’s I don’t really seem to care. It’s not that I wouldn’t be interested if something came along, but there is so much time and energy wasted that I could be spending elsewhere.
And so I am.
Our dating game is broken. After studying all the things to do and say, when and how, with how much fervor or by acting like I don’t give a rat’s ass about them I’ve noticed that yea, some of those things work but… it’s dumb and despite some professional’s statements that yes, it is, but it’s a requirement to succeed… well that just sounds like a challenge and I’m up for those.
I’m taking a 3 month spell of no dates, at all. When I’m asked I’ll now respond with “Sorry, I don’t do dates until I know you for 90 days.”
This frees me up to, well, date myself. I’m fucking awesome, so it’s actually exciting. I’ll be going out with myself, getting drinks, and essentially just spending some quality time alone, with me, the BEST date.